Assimilation Part II
By Keiti | September 19, 2007
And therein lies the problem – I’ve been spoiled, and have an incredible standard to which everyone I date or include in my circle of friends is held. And very few people, male or female, I’ve encountered within the past ten years have been able to rise to that standard. To say I’ve been disappointed would be an understatement. My own asinine behavior aside (and believe me, I’ve had my moments) there has not been one male with whom I’ve felt comfortable enough to simply lie in bed and be curly; to just enjoy the moment with no expectations or pressure to do anything except exist. The person I felt would be the one to clear the standard mark hasn’t, and so I’m left pondering the idea of looking to my past to see the future.
Jump to post phone call. As I was busy doing mind numbing, office-bitch work, those words kept getting top billing in the theatre that is my brain. My initial reaction was to debate the issue in literal terms. It’s no secret I’ve always had a crush on the seducee, and would not be at much of a loss were anything to actually happen. I love the idea of having a relationship with someone I know and trust and who knows and trusts me. No way to pull any shit, you know what I mean? There’s no chance of him falling under the spell of my perfections because he already knows I don’t have any. Enough said.
That line of thinking, of course, is the romanticized version. The chances of anything developing between us on that level are slim to none. Geographical distance aside, neither one of us seems inclined to talk candidly about it. I flirt and giggle. He laughs. I ask him why he’s laughing. He says it’s because I’m giggling. I do wonder what he would do if I approached the subject in all seriousness – if I sucked it up long enough to be honest and cross the line that has, inexplicably, been drawn. Would he take me seriously? Somehow I think all I’d get is the “I love you, but you’re like a little sister to me” speech. But if I thought there was a decent chance, I’d scrap California and make the cross-country move back to a state that I’ve spent more than my fair share of time trying to get away from.
Copyright 2007 Misplaced Misfit
Topics: Assimilation |