4 Months Later…
By Keiti | November 2, 2007
Okay, so I broke up with got dumped by my boyfriend right about 4 months ago. (For those of you who have been following along for a while, this is old news.) All things told, it was a fairly easy transition - I gave myself a month to grieve and once that month was up, I quit letting my heart rule my life about it. With the exception of a snarky comment here and an argument in my head there, I haven’t really thought much about it.
For the past week or so, though, I’ve been kind of pissed about the whole thing and with that comes an intense desire to be bitchy and vindictive - I would never do anything physical in my vindictiveness, although I will admit that I’ve thought about the immense satisfaction I’d get from taking a Louisville Slugger to his truck. Mostly, though, I fantasize about a witty and brutal verbal taking to task which, this being a fantasy, would be golden. In reality, though, it would be a disaster since I don’t think well off the cuff.
Anyway, I’ve been trying to figure out why all of a sudden four months later I’m expending any kind of energy on this and I think the reasons are two-fold: 1 - I didn’t get the last word and I didn’t say nearly as much as I could or should have. And 2 - I feel like an ass because I chose to believe what he said. I won’t get into the specifics because that’s not cool, but suffice it to say, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and that benefit of the doubt was severely abused by his not following through on what he portrayed as truth. I try to be as honest as I can - it’s just who I am - and I expect that others should be the same - it doesn’t usually work out that way, though.
It’s just really annoying to be told what someone thinks I want to hear so they can take the easy way out. And even more annoying is the fact that I’m old enough to know better and apparently still haven’t learned.
Topics: The Breakup |
November 3rd, 2007 at 2:16 am
I have to help defend my fellow primate here and to say that us guys, when it comes to touchy topics, have a delicate way of addressing them - you can call this our sensitive side (or it could be said that this is when our balls shrink like raisons in the sun).
The only thing I can say to you from the man’s perspective is that you need to free yourself from that stoic grip over your emotions and let ‘em rip when the situation demands it - just don’t poison anybody or cut off body parts in the process.
November 3rd, 2007 at 2:29 am
Keyth,
There’s a big difference between delicately addressing a touchy subject and simply telling someone what they think we want to hear.
And what I got was bullshit.
But now, it’s gone from being his problem to being mine. And I don’t like it.
You’re right about the stoic grip, though…I have a HUGE problem with showing my emotions…oddly enough, I think that came about from hanging out with mostly men way back in the day.
Keit
P.S. I’m still getting your junk mail…