#MondayMorningMusic – All These Things I’ve Done by The Killers

I remember the first time I heard this song was on the radio when I lived in Los Angeles. I also remember thinking it was a completely different band, though for the life of me, I can’t remember who I thought it was.

It brings good memories for me – I had a great time living in California, even if the reason for my moving out there was suspect and not entirely well thought out. 🙂

Case in point: To mix up this week’s #MondayMorningMusic, here is a bit from my essay “Ten Steps for Befriending a Rockstar or The Gentle Art of Stalking*”.

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*Disclaimer: I am not encouraging anyone to actively stalk a celebrity (or anyone else, for that matter). It is, as they say, a bad idea, and will potentially result in a restraining order and / or jail time. These “steps” are based on my own experiences and should not be copied. If I met my Rockstar today, I would most likely not do a quarter of the crazy (and downright stupid) things I did. I don’t regret them, but I wouldn’t repeat them.

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The gentle art of stalking and befriending a Rockstar requires a perfect balance between getting noticed and not scaring the hell out of him.

Must haves (in no particular order):

1 Rockstar, 1 small bottle of Vodka, 1 blank cassette tape marked as “mood music,” pens, paper, 1 small cardboard box, 1 small votive candle, poster board (as needed), Sharpie® markers in assorted colors, camera, Internet connection, 1 Brain plush doll, email address, random questions, picture(s) of yourself, acceptance, investigative skills, inquisitive nature, love of travel, sense of humor, and active imagination, ability to flirt, reliable transportation, a pinch of interest, love of adventure, infinite supply of patience, and an addiction to excitement.

Most importantly: An express willingness to make yourself look like an ass. Repeatedly.

Step One

Before you can embark on the adventure of stalking and befriending a Rockstar, you first have to locate one. Candidates for the position must be beautiful to you. This is important. You do not want to choose a Rockstar based on other people’s criteria. This is your Rockstar, not someone else’s. Putting another’s standards above your own will only result in dissatisfaction and / or disaster.

In addition to matching your idea of beautiful, your Rockstar must also be able to inspire you to great heights and feed your imagination. If you can’t envision being both perfectly naughty and perfectly normal with your Rockstar, then you’ll need to keep looking.

Some tips on finding your Rockstar:

1. Listen to his music – Do his lyrics speak to your soul? Do the melodies he crafts create an emotional connection?

2. Peruse music-related Internet sites – Does the image he project goad your imagination into overdrive?

3. Go to live shows – sometimes fate sets up a flawless bit of synchronicity.

NOTE: Should synchronicity occur, accost him after the show, and, if your Rockstar is bald, rub his head for good luck. After assuring him you won’t hurt him. Then take pictures. Don’t worry if they come out blurry; if all goes as it should, you’ll have plenty of time to snap more.

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The full essay can be found in Fractured: essays on love, friendship, and the nightmares in between at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. In the meantime, enjoy this week’s song!

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