Do Crushes, Grammar (and Bald Heads) Make Me a Writer?


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True Story. Way back in the day, when I was attending college just outside of Atlanta (shout out to Agnes Scott College and the Black Ring Mafia), 99x was the station to listen to. Every summer for a number of years they had the “On the Bricks” summer concert series. The only one I went to was in mid-June 2001 to see Vertical Horizon.

I’ve long had a “thing” for bald men. Don’t know when it started – or why – but smooth as glass or the tiniest bit stubbly, there’s just something about shaved heads that makes me crazy. I love rubbin’ on them. I love shaving them. I love looking at them.


A bald head is also the reason behind meeting Rockstar (see my essay “Ten Steps for Befriending a Rockstar or The Gentle Art of Stalking” in Fractured: essays on love, friendships, and the nightmares in between for that story – he also has impeccable grammar. For the record.) a couple of years earlier. On a sultry summer evening in Atlanta, Matt Scannell was just the ticket.

I’d convinced a few college friends to go with me, and we all hung out until Vertical Horizon came on, and then we scurried up to the front of the crowd. They played a couple of songs, and we grooved along until Matt S. started chatting up the crowd. “How are you?” he asked. “Are you doing well?”

I swung my head to look at one of my friends, my eyes wide as could be, and said, “Oh, my God! He has the *best* grammar!”

She gave me a weird look (the same look I get all the time from just about everyone I know, and even some I don’t) and said, “You are the only person I know who’d get off on proper grammar.”

I grinned and went back to lusting over Matt. That didn’t last too long, but only because they shut the show down early on account of lightning and an impending thunderstorm. The evening ended with my friends (including Rodney H. who was covering the show for whatever newspaper he was writing for at the time) and I, soaked to the bone, sitting in Denny’s, where I shook like a junkie in need of a fix because they had the AC turned down to about -20.

One of these days I’ll get around to seeing Vertical Horizon live again. Until then, I’ll continue crushing on Matt, his impeccable grammar, and his deliciously bald head.

I’m not convinced, though, any of it is because I’m a writer.



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